


Up in Alaska

by DigitalMoriarty



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Apocalypse
Genre: Bad Jokes, Fluff, M/M, Silly, Wanda has dealt with so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalMoriarty/pseuds/DigitalMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Wanda gets a payphone call from her brother and learns just what he's gotten himself into this time</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up in Alaska

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post I saw on tumblr. Posted here because of scarletwix, they who can be blamed for all my Nightsilver. All of it.

"Who is this?"

"Um… It's me Wanda..."   
"Pietro? What are you doing calling from a payphone?"

"It's… a bit of a long story…"

"The fact that you keep trailing off is a tad ominous. Oh no, have you killed someone?!"

"No no no! I haven't killed anyone! ...Might have been easier to deal with…"

"Okay. Just. Start at the beginning?"

 

He started at the very beginning. Sort of.

 

See, Pietro was older than Kurt. And he  _ knew  _ that. And he knew that sometimes when one partner was older than the other, the power dynamics got weird (unhealthy and unsafe). Okay, he didn't know it in those words, but he knew it nonetheless. And he didn't want that for himself and Kurt. He wanted Kurt to be safe and happy and feel secure and all sorts of wonderful things. So he made sure to let Kurt lead. When they took another step, it was when Kurt felt ready and Pietro was  _ very _ careful to make sure not to pressure his boyfriend.

 

Honestly, Kurt made him feel like an awkward teenager half the time anyway… (An awkward incredibly horny teenager who was willing to let Jean hit him with pillows by way of apology for his inability to keep certain thoughts contained) So, in the spirit of bad jokes (stupid jokes) he had started calling Kurt 'Daddy'. And Kurt  _ liked _ Pietro's occasional stupid jokes, so he answered to it, generally with a very silly, fang filled smile. 

 

Everyone in the mansion was in on the joke. Hell, Warren had once demanded to know if Pietro's 'Daddy' knew he was skipping training when he caught Pietro experimenting with running on water. (Pietro had stuck gum in his newly feathery-again wings. He would be the first to admit he was not the most mature man on the planet) But Erik wasn't often at the mansion. And he'd missed the joke during his times there apparently.

 

So, when Pietro and Kurt and Erik had had dinner together (An exercise in family bonding, and Pietro wouldn't admit to anyone but Wanda that Kurt was there for moral support) things had gone… slightly wrong.

 

"What do you mean by slightly wrong?"   
"I said "Daddy, can you pass the salt? And they both said 'Sure'."

"Ah."

"Yeah… And then I said 'I can explain' but the silverware was already shaking and so was the chandelier and then I panicked a little bit."   
"You panicked and did what?"   
"...Told Dad that Kurt called Kitty 'Kitten' which he  _ does  _ except he says it in German. And then the silverware shook a bit more. And then I bolted."

"To?"   
"...Alaska I think? Maybe? Somewhere with mooses. I just know I need a sweater, a lift home and a hell of a lot of twinkies. And then to sleep for a week."

 

Wanda sighed. Of course. Of course her brother would get himself into this sort of mess.

 

"Do you know where you are, beyond 'somewhere with mooses'?"

"Somewhere with payphones? And snow? And a place called 'George's General'. Which is where the payphone is."

"Oh good. It's as if you gave me the exact coordinates. Stay put, don't steal anything and I'll see about getting you home."

"Thanks Wanda."

"You owe me."

 

She hung up before he could say anything else. And then she called Jean Grey.

 

"You know how you call me any time my brother's given you an especially bad headache?"

"Yes…"

"He's gotten himself lost in Alaska. Or possibly Canada. Unless Russia has moose."

  
And then she enjoyed the laughter.


End file.
